to be busy and have a dozen things to stress and worry about getting done is often much easier than having down-time to be left alone with your thoughts and uncertainties. it's okay to relax, it doesn't mean you're lazy. it's okay to get a bad grade, it doesn't mean you're stupid. it's okay to enjoy life and be happy, you shouldn't feel guilty about having things go well for you.
I need to keep reminding myself of these things.
I just force-fed myself oatmeal so that I could take my meds. Some oatmeal spilled in my bed, so I'm going to sleep in oatmeal stickiness. I'm sick again. Today I was prescribed steroid nasal spray. I fucking hate nasal sprays. I'm exhausted and achey and I have a huge midterm tomorrow that is worth 25% of my final grade. I'm stressing out.
The news story I filmed, edited, and wrote a script for was on Carolina Week last night. Its cool that my work was broadcasted on live TV to 16 counties. Too bad my DVR fucked up and didn't record it, but I just watched it online. Not anything too special... but at least my work was good enough to get on there. Want to see the story? It's a really, really short VO!!!
(it's a little less than halfway through the show... right after the stories about health and weight loss... right before the stories about H1N1 and the Yellow Ribbon 5k.)
Heres the link:http://www.carolinaweek.org/carolina_week_archive/SPRING_2010_February_22nd.html
k... time to sleep for a few hours then wake up and study more. lately i feel like i have no soul and i am just a body walking around... a pawn of the university that gets the work done but has no enjoyment or emotion. i fake all of my laughs, and i'm exhausted 90% of the time.